Taylor Swift’s latest album is here! In THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL, Swift ditches her previous melloncollie producers, Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner, for the pop-centric Max Martin and Shellback. The results are polarizing fans and critics, which is why I’m here to break down each track.
1. THE LIFE OF OPHELIA ๐คฉ
When I reviewed THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT, I wrote
“Taylor Swift has made a career out of ‘looking back.โ I think her fans can agree that while they appreciate the two hours of music, itโs time to โmove forward.โ Since sheโs found love with Travis, Iโm hopeful that Swift once again reinvents herself with something as โdazzlingโ as she is.
After several listens to THE LIFE OF OPHELIA, I can confirm that she’s once again reinventing herself with this opening track banger. The bass groove, combined with the Shakespearean Hamlet-inspired lyrics, makes for the best song on her new release. It also clearly states this is not a break-up album – it’s a love album. #HatersGonnaHate.
Best Lyrics: “Keep it one hundrะตd on the land, the sea, thะต sky. Pledge allegiance to your hands, your team, your vibes.”
2. ELIZABETH TAYLOR ๐
After 45 seconds of nothing, this song finally gets going when it drops the catchy chorus – but it’s not Swift’s best work. However, the bass guitar riff that kicks off the second verse is what keeps me coming back “hypnotized.”
Best Lyrics: “Be my NY when Hollywood hates me.”
3. OPALITE ๐คฉ
The chorus in OPALITE is the best on the record. It reminds me of Robyn’s DANCING ON MY OWN. It’s that good.
Best Lyrics: I had a bad habit of missing lovers past. My brother used to call it, “eating out the trash.”
4. FATHER FIGURE ๐คฎ
Swift attempts some Prince-like high notes in the chorus as she sings about her “dick being bigger” in THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL’s first miss. Additionally, the melody in FATHER FIGURE has too many styles competing to tell the story of her feud with Scooter Braun, Olivia Rodrigo, or someone else.ย ย
Best (cringe) Lyrics: “I can make deals with the devil because my dick’s bigger.”
5. ELDEST DAUGHTER ๐คฉ
The fifth track slows it down for Swift’s first much-needed piano track. That combination with her vivid storybook lyrics, surrounding her first crush on a trampoline, makes it easily accessible. ELDEST DAUGHTER is also the first song where you can feel through Swift’s lyrics that she needs Travis, and he needs her. It’s beautiful, and I predict this will be a future wedding song for her yet-to-be-married fans.
Best Lyrics: “I have been afflicted by a terminal uniqueness. I’ve been dying just from trying to seem cool.”
6. RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP ๐
RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP is a tragically bittersweet song about missing out on an opportunity at a relationship before it’s too late. Yet, the strong lyrics are looking for a better melody to support them and make it more catchy.
Best Lyrics: “But I whispered at the grave. Should’ve kissed you anyway.”
7. ACTUALLY ROMANTIC ๐
Damn, this is Swift’s beef song, presumably attacking Charli XCX. It’s catchy and should have people talking about the story behind it. Yet again, the melody is too generic and feels like we’ve heard it before to “Actually” be a hit.
Best Lyrics: “Really got to hand it to you. No man has ever loved me like you do.”
8. WI$H LI$T ๐
A fun song about turning down the glamorous life of a pop star for kids, and the suburban dream (including a basketball hoop).
Best Lyrics: “Got me drะตaming about a driveway with a basketball hoop. Boss up, settle down, got a wish list (Wish list).”
9. WOOD ๐คฉ
I never thought I would love a song this sexual by Swift, where she uses the very visual metaphor to “knock on wood.” Yet the Jackson Five throwback melody is infectious, making it the most toe-tapping song on SHOWGIRL.
Best Lyrics: “Redwood tree, it ain’t hard to see, His lovะต was the key that opened my thighs.”
10. CANCELLED ๐คฎ
I. Just. Can’t. This song is just too much and gives me the ick.
Best Lyrics: “Did you girl-boss too close to the sun? Did they catch you having far too much fun? Come with me, when they see us, they’ll run. Something wicked this way comes.”
11. HONEY ๐คฎ
Another generic love song that doesn’t have the depth of OPHELIA or ELDEST DAUGHTER.
Best Lyrics: “You can call me ‘Honey’ if you want because I’m the one you want.”
12. THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL ๐
Moving away from cringe lyrics, Sabrina Carpenter saves the final song with the title track. It’s about meeting your idols in the music industry and warning against following in their footsteps. Having Swift and Carpenter on the same track makes it worth the price of admission.
Best Lyrics: “Hey, thank you for the lovely bouquet. You’re sweeter than a peach. But you don’t know the life of a showgirl, babe.”
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Final Thought: After several listens, there are four Taylor Swift-worthy songs on her twelfth record. Yet, that’s not enough to make it a must-listen. The lyrics border on cringe, and the melodies are too familiar to be the breakout love-fest audiences were waiting for. With that said, it’s Swift. If you’re already a fan, you will continue to dance and fall in love with this new version of the world’s biggest music star.
It’s available on all music streaming platforms.
