What’s supposed to be one of the most frightening movies in years lulled me into one of the best naps I’ve had all year. 

I understand why SKINAMARINK has a lot of buzz. A $15k film that earned a theatrical release and, honestly, has a super creepy atmosphere. It takes all the memories you have as a kid of being afraid of the dark and puts them in grainy footage that’s nearly impossible to distinguish. Are those LEGO that the kids are moving? Where did the dad go? And most importantly, why does this film have more closeups of feet than all of the LORD OF THE RINGS films combined? 

After being lulled to sleep for nearly forty-five minutes, I will admit that a few jump scares did get me. Not because they were frightening. But, instead, because you are tittering on the edge of boredom while watching it, the jump scares hit harder than they should.

SKINAMARINK, in all sense, is an anti-movie. There’s hardly any plot, payoffs, or setup like standard genre pictures have. At one point in the film, a character whispers, “Put the knife in your eye.” I would happily do that rather than subject myself to rewatching the least entertaining movie of 2023. 

In Ricky’s review of SKINAMARINK, he wrote:

I did not like this movie.

I can not stop thinking about this movie.

I highly recommend this movie.

I would adjust that statement to:

I did not like this movie.

I stopped thinking about this movie.

I don’t recommend this movie.

“Can we watch something happy (instead)?”

It’s available to put you to sleep on Shudder.

Aaron "Dobler" Goldstein

Aaron Goldstein is a Product Manager by day, ludicrous speed content consumer by night. He’s a LA Film School Alumni and TV Academy / Producers Guild of America member. Aaron is a proud parent and dad joke enthusiast.

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