SCARY MOVIE, the sixth in its franchise, is… exactly what you’d expect. If you watch the film because you fell for the nostalgia bait, that’s okay because that’s really the only thing giving it any substance. I saw SCARY MOVIE not even on its opening day, but the THURSDAY NIGHT BEFORE! I got to see this creation a full calendar day before the rest of society. Why, you may ask? I fell for the nostalgia bait as well. I must admit that, going in, I had only seen the first two films in this franchise. But I thoroughly enjoyed them, which is interesting as it’s not my typical sense of humor. I thought (as I’m sure many others will) that the original stars of the film returning meant this had to have some hope.
Unfortunately, even the star power could not save it. The last film in the franchise came out in 2013, so this film had a heavy burden to meet. How do you manage to pack 13 years’ worth of content into 100 minutes? It leads to a film like SCARY MOVIE. So jumbled with packing in every possible reference that it never lets the jokes fully land. One of the highlights of the original films is how seamlessly they blend together, while still managing to focus on a core two or three. The film references horror movies, normal movies, and meta commentary, as well as pop culture references in just about every sentence. It bounces back and forth between what it’s talking about so much that it feels like a disoriented cacophony of “Buzzword! Buzzword! Buzzword!” It gives a similar feeling to scrolling on TikTok and seeing hundreds of short-form videos and not fully processing any of them. It just becomes mindless noise.
SCARY MOVIE sees the return of the core four: Cindy (Anna Faris), Brenda (Regina Hall), Ray (Shawn Wayans), and Shorty (Marlon Wayans). It certainly brings the film together, as this was the first time this group reunited since SCARY MOVIE 2. Any moment that focused on them was more watchable than the plot lines of the “new generation”. If you’ve seen SCREAM 5, that is the target this film chooses to parody. So of course we have our new “final girl”, Sara (Olivia Rose Keegan), her sister, Tuesday… (Savannah Lee Nassif), Sara’s boyfriend, Jack (Cameron Scott Roberts), Jess (Benny Zielke), Val (Ruby Snowier), and siblings Dei (Sydney Park) and Brad (Gregg Wayans). The Core Four doesn’t just return, but we also get to see cameos from Officer Goofy (Dave Sheridan), Gail Hailstorm (Cheri Oteri), and Sherri Greg Phillippe (Lochlyn Munro). Suppose that felt like a lot of names to read and keep track of, imagine watching it all. Marlon Wayans as Shorty is definitely the best part, and the only character to make me crack a smile at times. But even then, his acting feels repetitive and the same schtick over and over, as if you asked someone to do an impression of Wayans as Shorty. Anna Faris is beyond annoying as Cindy, and while that’s the point, it gets to the point where you don’t want to watch anymore.
The plot is weak and doesn’t fully come together. SCARY MOVIE is one of the worst things a comedy movie can be; it’s just boring. Finding out who Ghostface is feels like an afterthought for both the film, AND the audience. It passes, and the credits roll, and it’s a film you will have watched – but it just doesn’t impact you. I do not believe that every film has to be thought-provoking or life-changing, but when you also don’t gain anything from the actual process of watching a film… what is the point? At the end of a day, if a comedy movie is not funny, what is it?
SCARY MOVIE was a disappointment. Maybe my expectations were far too high, but I was genuinely excited to see what they parodied from MY generation. I’ve seen every single film they reference, and none of it felt clever or funny. I recognize that I’m not the intended audience for the film. SCARY MOVIE tried its hardest to relate to Gen Z. Yes, there were times where they poked fun at this generation, but more than anything, it felt like they were trying to be a part of Gen Z. It never landed and felt cringe, like when teachers try to be a part of the joke. Overall, SCARY MOVIE did not land with this 18-year-old girl, and I did not take anything from this movie except that I wanted to go home and rewatch the films it was parodying. It reminded me how good LONGLEGS, GET OUT, and THE SUBSTANCE are, so I suppose it did a little good.
SCARY MOVIE is now playing in theaters.
