It feels like a bad omen that the first movie I saw in theaters in 2026 was PRIMATE. A film that is so painfully boring that even the brisk 89-minute runtime feels long. As a horror fan, I know all too well that we can expect nothing good from January releases. However, I have high hope that 28 YEARS LATER: THE BONE TEMPLE might be the exception. The acting, writing, and plot offer very little substance, and watching the trailer is essentially the same as watching the film itself.
PRIMATE follows Ben, a chimpanzee who has contracted rabies and goes on a killing spree. The saving grace is the (rare) moments of practical gore Ben inflicts on the household members. For the most part, it’s just a series of bad decisions and waiting for something to happen. I keep thinking I might be too negative on this film, until I remember the couple in front of me literally left the theater during the showing, so clearly I’m not alone.
The film provides minimal exposition on why we should care about the characters. I started rooting for Ben simply because I had no reason to connect with any of the characters. The best character in the film is without a doubt the father, Adam (played by Troy Kotsur), a deaf writer who leaves the house for a book signing. He was pretty cool, and I enjoyed any scene with him. Our main characters are Lucy (Johnny Sequoyah), her sister Erin (Gia Hunter), her best friend Kate (Victoria Wyant), Kate’s brother Nick (Benjamin Cheng), and Kate’s friend Hannah (Jessica Alexander). I had to look up most of the character names, as none of them stuck from the past two hours since I left the theater.
The most distracting part of the film is the title role, Ben. It is so clear that he is not a chimp but simply a man in a costume. It leaves the land of kitsch and just becomes laughable. I could not have gotten through this film without the laughs my best friend and I shared, whether from the story or just trying to keep ourselves entertained.
Both the story AND dialogue writing are weak. Modern lingo and speech that feels forced, cringe, and out of place. The plot felt akin to THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER TWO, a repetitive sequence of trying the same tactics that are clearly not working. You could even say the characters were like a one-trick monkey.
If you want to watch a monkey movie, I highly recommend BETTER MAN instead, a biopic on Robbie Williams in which he is portrayed as a monkey, a film I enjoyed. If you insist on watching PRIMATE, don’t say I didn’t warn you… I fear that films like PRIMATE are what give horror a bad rep. I wholeheartedly hope 2026 gives us better picks for the genre, and it’s not a year filled with films like this. I commend the writers for making a movie and that it’s in theaters; that’s more than I could do. I wish the film were better.
PRIMATE is now playing in theaters.
