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DUNE 🤮

There's no way to spoil the new DUNE because nothing happens

I’m a HUGE Denis Villeneuve fan, but this is his worst film to date. It’s comparable to Peter Jackson’s THE HOBBIT in that he turned a simple prologue into an over-complicated pointless, tedious, dull waste of time. 

It’s a damn shame because, from a technical POV, DUNE is a masterpiece. It’s beautiful to look and listen to, but beyond that, there’s not much but a ton of dirt and some giant worms. Timothée Chalamet plays Paul Atreides, and the main plot revolves around him “chasing his dreams.” Yes, that’s right. There’s a dream sequence at the start of the movie, and that’s all that happens here for the most part. He must chase his dreams, and when he accomplishes that – credits aka a cliffhanger. 

I get that Denis Villeneuve wanted to create fan service for the world of DUNE, but he puts his muted world-building ahead of the story. As Paul talks about the “spice,” I wished a Spice Girl appeared to “tell him what he wants what he really really wants.” And that would be to kiss Chani (Zendaya). 

In Tarush’s DUNE review, he hoped it would become what LORD OF THE RINGS (LOTR) was 20 years ago. I challenge him on that statement because LOTR opened with something lacking from the DUNE universe – the heart. If you are going to take audiences on an epic science fiction/fantasy adventure, you should always start with the heart. Yet, sadly, as Denis Villeneuve’s budgets increase, the amount of emotion/heart in them has decreased (see BLADE RUNNER 2049). 

As the end credits finally happen, the words “this is only the beginning” appear on the screen. For me, I hope “this is only the end.”

It’s available on HBO Max and theatrically. 

Aaron "Dobler" Goldstein

Aaron Goldstein is a Product Manager by day, ludicrous speed content consumer by night. He’s a LA Film School Alumni and TV Academy / Producers Guild of America member. Aaron is a proud stepparent and dad joke enthusiast.

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