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BULLET TRAIN 🤩

Blood, Guts, Bullets, and a Momomon.

PREMISE

Five assassins aboard a fast moving bullet train find out their missions have something in common.

THE GOOD STUFF

BRAD PITT- I said it once before in my review of The Lost City, and I’ll say it here as well: Brad Pitt is just as funny as he is anything else. He has shown time and time again that he can hold his own comedically with the very best in the business.

However, his comedic roles have been that of supporting roles to the best of my knowledge. (once upon a Time in hollywood, Inglorious basterds, burn after reading, The Big Short) He is at once the leading man of this film, and the voice of the audience for whenever something bats*** crazy happens. This is a very silly and breezy character for him to play, and that is refreshing more often than not given how serious every other character in this film is.

LEMON & TANGERINE- When you have action movies with large ensembles like this one, the supporting characters always take a major step forward no matter how good the leading performance is. Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson completely own every scene that they’re in together, as well as owning many of the scenes when they are apart.

I can only hope this movie is a massive hit and we can somehow get a spin-off of these two characters in some way. They were really, really, really fun to watch.

THE ACTION- Not going to lie. I’m a little bit biased here. This type of r-rated action flick is right in my wheelhouse. Movies that are this gloriously violent should never be taking themselves seriously, and thank goodness this movie doesn’t do that.

Blood flies rather freely, bones crack, limbs are severed, and it is not for the faint of heart at times.

(BOUT TIME SOMETHING LIKE THIS CAME ALONG)

THE BAD STUFF

Slightly false advertising– Now it doesn’t really matter in the large scale of things, but the trailers and commercials that have been advertising this movie are misdirecting you. To go into any further detail would be going DEEP into spoilery territory.

THE SCENE(S) THAT REALLY BUGGED ME PERSONALLY- There is a scene in which a human being runs alongside the bullet train, jumps onto it with this bare hands, crawls up the backside of it, and punches out of window using his bare hands.

This same character is seen throughout the film not even being even remotely that fast or strong. There are at least two more scenes in this film that defy physics in this way simply for the convenience of moving the story along. It’s noticeable, and perhaps these scenes should have stayed on the cutting room floor.

THE UGLY STUFF

CGI- The CGI in this film is quite wack. Almost amateur level wackness to be honest, and not in a funny way that adds to the zaniness of the film. The climactic scene of the film is supposed to be a showcase of CGI bit it is…..not a showcase.

It was bad enough to make me go on Wiki and look up the budget of the film to see if it was perhaps made on the cheap in comparison to all of the other big summer flicks this year….and it isn’t. It’s just really poor CGI.

*************

It should be mentioned once more that I am a very big fan of blood soaked action comedy such as smokin’ aces, copshop, shoot them up, lucky number slevin, and damn near every Guy Ritchie movie has to do with some British gangster type s***. If you are like me, then the rating that I am giving this film is intended to for your eyes specifically. Do yourselves a favor and see this movie as soon as you possibly can.

(However if you aren’t like me, you may have to digest this one at home. However, it’s still fun enough to give it a try) 

BULLET TRAIN is in theaters now

Eli Brumfield

Eli Brumfield in an actor/screenwriter from Seattle Washington, living in Los Angeles.

He is the host of the RV8 Podcast.

He hates the word cinefile, but considering how many films he consumes in a week...and how many films he goes out of his way to see, no matter the genre...he kinda seems to be one.

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