STILLER AND MEARA: NOTHING IS LOST was a beautiful tribute to director Ben Stiller’s famous parents, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara. It was an honest, authentic look at their very complicated lives as Stiller and Meara maneuvered through their professional careers while trying to keep their marriage separate. It was simply profound witnessing the good, bad, and ugly moments of a flawed, loving, extremely talented couple working to stay together while raising two children and being famously successful. Ben made sure his documentary was as transparent and honest as possible.
I grew up watching STILLER AND MEARA on television. Most Sunday evenings, they were featured on THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW. My family never missed an episode. I remember noticing how much my mom and dad thoroughly enjoyed their comedic schtick. My parents would laugh out loud at the lightning-fast banter between a Jewish husband and his red-haired, Irish, Catholic wife. When they laughed, I used to laugh as well. I was too young to understand or grasp the nuances of their “Act totally.” As I grew, I got it. I loved their quick, improvised barbs and their incredible facial expressions. They were experts at how long to hold for that solid gold “ba ba boom” of a comedy bit. It was like being in a master comedy workshop. I sucked it up and remembered when I began my own director and teaching career years later.
Jerry Stiller taped and recorded every aspect of their lives. The documentary centered on Ben and his sister, Amy, as they cleaned their parents’ apartment to put it up for sale. There were tons of boxes and memorabilia everywhere. How lucky Ben and Amy were to have their parents’ lives in their hands all these years later. Jerry kept conversations between everyone in the family and in their professional lives. What a gift, as well as a tremendous job to sift through, deciding what to keep and what to let go. It was all very entertaining watching clips and photos, and being part of interviews with family members, friends, and colleagues.
What was most evident was that Jerry and Anne were not perfect. They had their demons to discover, accept, and battle throughout their 62-year marriage. It was a fantastic journey for them and an honor for fans to revisit. I loved the honesty and reflections. It made it all real that no one gets through life unscathed, no matter how famous they are. This was all brilliantly presented by Ben.
Jerry used to say that “once recorded, nothing is lost.” True that. Thank goodness he and Ben were always recording, so we will never forget the genius of STILLER AND MEARA. I wish I had done the same thing when I was growing up.
About 25 years ago, I happened to be in New York, walking through the Broadway district, when, by chance, Ben Stiller and his entourage crossed my path. I told him how much I loved his work and got an autograph. I was star-struck by his mesmerizing blue eyes. Looking back, I wish I had mentioned his parents, too. They made a difference in my life. They influenced me and taught me great theatrical lessons. So, I am saying it now. Thank you, Jerry and Anne. Your work will never be forgotten. Don’t miss this fabulous documentary.
STILLER AND MEARA: NOTHING IS LOST is streaming on Apple TV.
