PREMISE
Five years after JURASSIC WORLD: DOMIINION (2022), an expedition ventures into isolated equatorial regions to extract DNA from three massive prehistoric creatures in pursuit of a groundbreaking medical breakthrough.
THE GOOD STUFF
THE FAMILY STUFF- Jurassic world: rebirth is a film whose story is split into two different parts: there’s stuff involving the (movie star studded) mercenary team, and then there’s involving just a random family that were the subject of an impromptu rescue mission, and have to tag along for the ride only to get separated from.
The family stuff is not only the most engaging part of this movie, but it also contains the most likable characters by a considerable margin. Whenever the story shifts over to their side of things, it feels a lot fresher as a Jurassic franchise movie. The actors (Manuel Garcia Ruffalo, Luna Blaise, David Iacono, and Audrina Miranda) all do fantastic jobs and are the best part about this movie.
THE CALLBACKS (The Good Stuff) – Throughout the last four Jurassic movies, I can’t help but realize how good we had it back in the 90s. This film, like the previous three films before it, pays homage to the first (and also the second, in my opinion) movie of the franchise. As these Jurassic World movies continue to be released, I’m reminded of how iconic so many elements of that first movie were. As a ’90s guy, my heart was warmed to hear that music on a big screen again and to see dinosaurs be mischievous in all their glory. Can’t help it.
THE BAD STUFF
NINJA T-REX- I don’t know why they did it, and it’s really hard to explain, but there is the most fundamentally illogical portrayal of a Tyrannosaurus Rex that this franchise has ever produced in this film. My patience was wearing very thin with this film by the time this scene popped up… but oh boy was I in stunning disbelief when the Ninja T-Rex appeared.
I dare not tell you the circumstances to which the Ninja T-Rex happened. But if you’re reading this and you’ve seen this film, you know exactly what I’m talking about and how utterly ridiculous it was when it popped up. The crowd I saw this with was equally as stupefied by what we had just seen.
THE UGLY STUFF
THE WRITING – Because this movie lacks originality, there’s a lot of exposition to explain the science of what we’re about to see. Jonathan Bailey does his absolute best to deliver a good performance. But, man, does he have to explain every single facet of why they are here on this godforsaken mission? He just drones on and on about scientific babble. Scarlett Johansson is here playing yet another action heroine, who’s both trying as hard as she can to push these forced as hell comedic banter jokes that the script has her do, and to muster some romantic chemistry with Jonathan Goff’s character through the first act which is all but forgotten about once the dinos start dino-ing. We got Mahershala Ali out here being utterly wasted as a secondary character with a lot less screen time than I imagined him having. He is to this movie what Quint was to Jaws, just with no Indianapolis monologue.
THE 3rd ACT – Once we are introduced to the area that will serve as the final battleground between our heroes and villains, logic is just thrown out of the window. And the logical aspects are exact beats that we’ve seen in the last two trilogies of this franchise. This is the most uneventful, repetitive, and downright boring conclusion to a Jurassic franchise film of any kind, regardless of how good or bad the movie itself may be.
**************
Ultimately, the Jurassic franchise has a lot in common with the fast and furious franchise….
- Both of them started their franchises with a really strong individualistic aesthetic and feel. The aesthetic and feel that many other people copied in other particular franchises. Many iconic aspects of both franchises are instantly recognizable.
- Both of them utilized those iconic aspects to create multiple sequels that have varied in quality. The consistency of both franchises in terms of good to bad movies is also off.
However, the difference between fast and furious and Jurassic lies in the fact that after a decade or so the fast and furious franchise realized they had to change it up. They wanted to make more sequels and knew it couldn’t just be about street racing for 10 f****** films. Sure, things got really really goofy for the fast and furious franchise. However, the alternative to the goofiness it ended up having is simply being stagnant. Being boring.
You see, once your franchise becomes boring, predictable, and repetitive, you begin to waste all the years of Goodwill that have been built up to a certain point. Audiences tend to believe that your franchise is no longer creative and yearn for the days when things were innovative and inventive. The Jurassic franchise reached this point in the last trilogy and used up all the gas left in the tank.
Sure, this iteration may make a pretty penny at the box office, but I highly doubt it will outgross anything from the Chris Pratt movies. There does not need to be another sequel until they figure out how to change things up, and I mean change up in a drastic fashion.
JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH is in theaters now
