GLADIATOR II will be someone’s “Roman Empire,” but certainly not mine. The year’s most unnecessary sequel seemed to have everything going for it, but alas, even the best creators sometimes put out a flop.
I was baffled when I learned that Best Picture winner 2000’s GLADIATOR was getting a sequel. Winning five Oscars and being nominated for seven more, what more could this movie need? I loved the original film, and once the cast started to take shape for this sequel, I began feeling hopeful. Denzel Washington (who deserves top billing here), Pedro Pascal, Paul Mescal, Connie Nielsen (returning from the original), and Joseph Quinn. Plus, Ridley Scott was returning to direct. “Have faith,” I told myself. Perhaps this isn’t just a cash grab. The trailers for this film are incredible. Now I was in. I’ve spent the last few weeks really looking forward to it, so imagine my disappointment when it let me down in almost every way.
First, what’s good? This is a great cast that’s doing the best they can. The costumes (which won an Oscar in 2000) are also spectacular. And I have to admit, it does not hurt to have Pedro, Paul, Denzel, and Connie flouncing around on screen in Roman wear. They’re all gorgeous actors playing equally stunning characters. The action scenes that feature stage combat and practical effects are also good, but not great, for reasons I’ll discuss further.
What’s bad? Everything else. First, the script, especially the dialogue, is horrendous. Every line felt forced. Why are these characters doing and saying these things? Why do some things matter and not others? Why are so many scenes so incredibly cringey? Because the script simply does not work. The tone is all over the place. The story goes from highs to lows but never has a firm line that makes any sense. Characters express distrust of one another in one scene and then, five minutes later, without further development, put their lives on the line for each other. The antagonists in the film, co-Emperors Geta (Quinn) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger), are written so comically terrible and one note. Quinn (STRANGE THINGS, A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE) and Hechinger (THE WHITE LOTUS S1, THELMA) are talented upcoming actors. Make sure you check out their other work because here, they’re given only the shallowest of narratives to work with.
I know GLADIATOR was not true to history. Some characters are loosely based on actual people (Marcus Aurelius, Commodus, Lucilla), while Maximus is an original invention in the story. But GLADIATOR II takes such huge fictional liberties that it sometimes feels like it’s taking place entirely in another world. At least the original felt rooted in reality, while the sequel presents us with setups that are so preposterous and laughable. And to make matters worse, the special effects that bring these fantasies to life don’t look like they have improved in 24 years. Any time an action scene here relies too heavily on visual effects, it fails remarkably. Among many scenes of crowds in Rome, two in particular didn’t even look like the visual effects were finished. It was just a bunch of copy-pasted stick figures moving in unison without even trying to look like real people. I know our FX industry can do so much better. Did Paramount not pay their bill? Did they work the effects wizards so hard they ran out of time? And I haven’t even mentioned yet that every time an animal is shown in the film, outside of a couple of dogs, it’s a visual effect and looks less life-like than THE LION KING ‘live-action’ remake. Perhaps the real-life gladiators fought animals in the Colosseum, but if they did, they were actual animals that lived on this earth. Not whatever effects vomit I saw on the screen last night. Also, going back to crowd scenes: What happened to paying extras to dress up and be background? Instead, we get 1,000 copies of an animated stickman wearing a digital toga.
I’m going to add one last thing that might be controversial. Paul Mescal was miscast here. I like Mescal a lot. He was perfect in ALL OF US STRANGERS, THE LOST DAUGHTER, and AFTERSUN. I haven’t seen NORMAL PEOPLE yet but I intend to. Maybe it was just the script, but every time he opened his mouth in this movie, he came across as a “semi-lovable idiot”. He’s speaking with his odd Irish-drawl accent, Denzel & Pedro have an American accent, and half the rest of the cast has British accents. I guess it doesn’t matter in a movie series where ancient Romans speak English anyway. The terrible script even goes out of its way to tell us that characters speak and understand “their native tongues,” only for that character to just immediately start speaking English. 🤦♀️
If you want to see some very attractive actors doing their best for 2.5 hours on screen, go see GLADIATOR II, which is currently exclusively in theatres. Or wait a few weeks, and you can watch it at home and save yourself some money.
