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ANACONDA ๐Ÿ˜Š

ANACONDA should have never been released at Christmas. This is a March or maybe mid-fall movie. Instead, it got buried by AVATAR and MARTY SUPREME. And letโ€™s be honest, 2026 has been ROUGH already. I needed a night out to laugh, and ANACONDA was the answer.

This reboot, revival, whatever, is absolutely dumb fun. My biggest critique is that it could have been even more outrageous. It could have leaned a bit harder into the fact that itโ€™s about a HUGE FUCKING SNAKE.ย  Iโ€™m not a fan of this franchise, but it didnโ€™t matter. You do not have to be knowledgeable about the previous films to enjoy this one. It helps to at least know that the original ANACONDA was released in 1997 and had a very 90s cast. Were the Anacondas from the previous films this big? Again, doesnโ€™t matter. The special effects for the snake here arenโ€™t great. Also, doesnโ€™t matter.ย 

What works here is this cast, together with a nostalgic story that delivers A LOT OF laughs. ANACONDA 2025 feels like it was specially made for people born between 1970 and 1980, and hey, thatโ€™s me! Stars Jack Black, Paul Rudd, and Steve Zahn were all born in the 1960s, but theyโ€™re playing close to a decade younger than their actual ages. Thandiwe Newton was born in 1972 and is a lot closer to portraying her characterโ€™s age. I love all these actors, and they had great chemistry,ย  but I couldnโ€™t help but wonder if the film might have gotten more mileage with a slightly younger cast. If Iโ€™m willing to suspend my disbelief about a 100-foot snake, I think I can spend 100 minutes believing Black, Zahn, and Rudd are in their late 40s.ย ย 

The pacing is a bit uneven, and some different sections of the dialogue feel like they were written by various writers, probably in rewrites. The overarching plot is goofy and never takes itself seriously. Itโ€™s too bad it just couldnโ€™t go even more over the top than it does. They probably could have knocked off 10 minutes of the run time, or at the very least, delivered more screentime for the murderous snake.ย ย 

But all in all, I laughed a lot. A LOT. And boy did I need that. Never underestimate the power of laughter. 

ANACONDA is currently playing in theatres. 

Jami Losurdo

When not writing film and tv reviews, Jami is expanding her collection of colorful sunglasses, lifting weights, and working her day job as a Digital Advertising Director. An alumnus of NYU Tisch for Film/TV, Jami made Los Angeles her home in the early 2000s and continues her quest to find the very BEST tacos of all time.

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ANACONDA ๐Ÿ˜Š

PREMISE

A group of friends is going through a midlife crisis. They decide to remake a favorite movie from their youth, but encounter unexpected events when they enter the jungle.

THE GOOD STUFF

RUDD & BLACK- Reliability and consistency are the names of the game with these two. You also know that these two actors seem to have comedic chemistry with just about any co-star that they’ve ever had, and that given that they’ve already co-starred together in a goofy comedy (shallow Hal) we are in good hands.

I would go so far as to say that you need comedy veterans like these to pull off such a goofy premise with such over-the-top humor. They deliver as they often do, mostly with silent facial expressions, slight winks to the audience, and scenes that are so ridiculous you can’t help but feel they are improvised. These two characters are playing the same man-children they always play. But that’s okay.

THE CHEESEINESS- I wouldn’t go so far as to call this film in homage to 1990 Cinema, but just as THE NAKED GUN did earlier this year, all of the thematic elements of this film are taken very seriously, except the CGI.

The CGI in this movie is absolutely trash, and I never thought I would say this, but the film is all the better for it. I actually thought I saw matte lines around the snake, and it made me laugh, along with everything else that was happening. Perfect kind of tone for this kind of silliness.

THE BAD STUFF

Daniela melchior– Melchior has only been in the game since 2018 so I’ve seen her in very few films. Those films are The suicide squad, guardians of the Galaxy vol 3, fast x, and a movie called assassin club. I mentioned that there is a trait in this performer that seems to annoy only me.

NO MATTER WHAT…….HER FACE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE THIS.

In all of those aforementioned films, she plays characters with a lot of physicality. She’s always running from something, or fighting something…. And her makeup and hair are always on point. There are scenes where she wakes up out of bed with her makeup and hair on fleek. She’s had dirt on her face from time to time, but she’s NEVER been on screen looking even slightly, remotely disheveled.

In this movie, she plays a person who lives in a Brazilian jungle, supposedly for years on end, and yet she still looks like a spokesperson for L’Oreal at all f****** times. This may be something that only bothers me,

THE UGLY STUFF

There are a couple of big surprises at the end of the film (I can’t even say what happens), and I hated the whole thing. When you see it, you will know what it is. It annoys me that I can’t speak on it, so I’m just hating for the sake of hating at this point.

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Ultimately, this is a movie that’s so much a tribute to the original ANACONDA that I want to see it again. I would want to see it again, not because it’s a better movie than I remember it being, no. But because that movie took itself so seriously that it was unintentionally funny, I think this film makes the original 1997 film even funnier all these years later. I think that’s the best compliment I could give this movie, and it’s completely well-earned.

ANACONDA is in theaters now

Eli Brumfield

Eli Brumfield in an actor/screenwriter from Seattle Washington, living in Los Angeles.

He is the host of the RV8 Podcast.

He hates the word cinefile, but considering how many films he consumes in a week...and how many films he goes out of his way to see, no matter the genre...he kinda seems to be one.

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